Welcome to My Life

I fondly remember a project I had to painfully endure in high school, for music class. Well, each one of us had to sing in front of everyone, with a song of our choice. Our grade was based on not just vocal prowess (which meant us guys with a less-than-appealing music box stuck in our throats already were in trouble) but on—curiously enough—showmanship. Meaning, you can suck at the singing part, but if you gesticulate wildly and act like it's a one-man show on Broadway, you can still walk away with an A.

I had delusions of grandeur, say the least, and opted for a mellow ballad, you know, so I could finish the song without my voice grating. The "What were you thinking?" moment came when instead of bringing in prerecorded music—which is what 95 percent of the class did—I chose to learn its chords on a freaking organ.

Note, before that project came into our laps, I had no idea how to play the organ, nor did I care enough to give it a try. My rehearsal was very mechanical, as if I'm memorizing Mathematical formulas (okay, this part, your fingers should be this way and touching this, this, and this key) because it was the best way I know how to learn to play without having to go through the basics. So when I eventually memorized the final set of notes for the very last word, I thought I was set.

But life being life, it never is that simple.

Let's just say that come "performance" time, I choked, panicked, forgot the lines, and worst, it was painfully obvious that I had no clue how to play an organ—and the people seated in the front row of the class knew and understood that fact all too well. I barely made it with a passing C grade.

After that fateful day, I squashed all hopes of learning to play a musical instrument; and vowed never to let my delusions of actually singing for an audience get the better of me.

If I would be given the chance to do it again, however, I would gladly sing the main lead's part in this video. But instead, I'll just have somebody else provide the music, and use the recorded material for the girl's part.

Warning: Lyrics contain profanity and adult subjects.